The Gift of Hope

Hi,
My name is tessie, and I would like to share my true story with you.

Let me tell you a bit about my background. I come from Christian family. But for the past 20 years of my life I have been struggling with self esteem. Maybe due to the fact that I knew I was an unwanted child when my dad wanted to kill me when I was still in my mom’s womb because he thought my mom was having an affair. But we manage to stay alive.
As I grew up, beating was not a strange thing happened to us. My mom used to compare me with my sister due to my weakness in math. My uncle was once almost put his cigarette on my hand so I can memorize the lesson. My friends used to bully me because of my size, giving me nicknames like “Black Fat baboon” and guys basically they don’t like me bcoz of my size.

I almost kill myself twice and for the past 18 years I wasn’t being myself. I was hiding under the image of tomboy, being every girl’s bodyguard. I was smiling and look so happy on the outside but inside I was struggling. Hatred, disappointment, bitterness and pain has caused a tremendous low self-esteem in me.

As I moved on to College life in Australia, my best friend brought me to a church and even if I went to church in Indonesia before but never in my life I experience God as my personal savior. I know the story about Jesus but I never really had a relationship with Him until my friend told me more about Jesus. I was touched. As I found out more about Him, I found there is hope for my life and I am loved and I am precious and I am beautiful. He healed me in the inside made me realize that man can judge what is in the outside but He knows what is in the inside. And is enough for me to know that He cares. From broken pieces He made me whole again and He gave me the strength to forgive my family, my friends and myself. He restores me.

When my parent almost divorce, when my family situation gets worse, I found strength in God to pray for my family situation. I put my hope & trust in Him, believing that if He can restore me, He can and will restore my family. Now after more than 4 years of praying, love just overflow in my family. He enables us to forgive each other and start a new life that full of hope in God. From never reading the bible, now it becomes our favorite book to read. He restores us.

I thank God because He is so faithful when I’m not and He never leave nor forsaken me. He gives hope when no one and nothing else can’t.

If you experience same or similar situation or even worse, you can put your trust & hope in Jesus. Give yourself a chance to be restored because He loves you so much.

God bless